Death, Easter, and Seeking Hope

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Sitting in church this morning, my heart was heavy and each breath felt like a struggle at times. Last Easter, I sat between my mother and husband, resting my hand on Isabella growing and moving within me, while my dad sat beside Mom. Holidays seem to highlight absent family members and the contrast between last year's hope and this year's barren desert was stark. The empty spaces left by Mom and Isabella were more keenly felt today than most Sundays.

One of the choruses we sung today was, "Oh, Hell, where is your victory? Oh, death, where is your sting?" I know that these verses tell the truth that eternally, death's power is broken and our physical death on earth is not the end of our souls for believers. However, the painful sting of physical death in this world was in the forefront of my mind as I sang those words. 

Although I have had other friends and family die, even tragically and unexpectedly, burying both my daughter and mother in nine months has raised more questions about life, death, hope, and what comes after death than any time before. 

The sermon today mentioned the audacity of hope. I continue to struggle with how to have hope in a world so full of loss. Not just eternal hope, but present hope. My mother had eternal hope, but had lost hope when picturing her earthly present and future.

My father shared a conversation he recently had with one of my mom's friends. This friend is an atheist and she and Mom frequently had conversations about God and death. While she does not believe in God or heaven, she told my dad she's been irrationally scared for Mom's eternal soul. Since Mom took her own life, was she barred from the God she put her faith in? Is suicide a mortal sin?

Dad reminded this friend of what Mom believed. That everyone is a sinner and that our sins have separated us from God making us deserve the punishment - death. We could not save ourselves so God sent his son, Jesus, to live a perfect life. Since Jesus was God, he could live a perfect, sinless life and since he was a man, he could die. All our sins were put on him on the cross and he died the death we deserved. He was resurrected from the dead and believers in Christ are given eternal life.

Mom believed that Jesus bore all the world's sins on him and his death paid the death penalty sin deserves. Because of this, believers are pure in the eyes of God. Dad told this friend, if suicide is a sin, whether in killing oneself or in not trusting God, is it somehow a greater sin than all others? Could suicide separate Mom from Jesus because his death covered all sins except suicide? No!
Romans 8:31-39 says, "If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." (New Living Translation)
Mom's friend said, even though she doesn't believe in God, Jesus, or life after death, it was a relief to know that suicide could not separate Mom from her beliefs.

While wrestling with thoughts an questions about life and death, particularly on Easter, I will cling to the truth that, "nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." And while nothing separates us, this world is full of sorrow and death.

Comments

Susan said…
Dear Elizabeth: Although I cannot add anything to your meditation on Christian theology and what comes after death, I certainly can identify with your thoughts about how we struggle with present hope, with earthly hope, in times such as this difficult, difficult year, bracketed with deaths of those we dearly love. I mourn daily your mother’s loss of hope in her future and my inability to help her feel enough hope to continue. And of course, the loss of Isabella—her beautiful baby body and all her years of potential—remains an acute sorrow. You raise the question of how to have hope, while we are in this life, in a world so full of loss. I continue to think that at least part of the answer lies in believing and feeling—really feeling viscerally—that love and beauty and caring and potential walk alongside loss—most days, but if not today, then tomorrow or the day after. I know it doesn’t erase the loss, but does provide some counterbalance. Enough, perhaps, for most of us to continue to keep hope alive.
With much love,
Susan

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