Baby Clothes

As I folded laundry recently, I found polka dot baby socks and striped size 6 months pants in the basket of clean clothes. My niece wore some of Isabella's clothes when my sisters stayed with me after Mom died. Seeing several outfits get worn was a delight. Folding them up to put back in a dresser full of unworn baby clothing was tough.

While I never forget that Isabella would be growing up and such an integral part of daily life, seeing baby clothes mixed in with my laundry brought this point home. I would have done countless Isabella-related loads covered in a variety of substances, struggling to match tiny socks and wondering how such a small child could create so much laundry.

Instead, I paused, breathing deeply with eyes closed, picturing what she would have looked like in these items. An impossible exercise, for my imagination fails to fill in details.

I was reminded reminded of the short story attributed to Hemingway. "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

Comments

Laura said…
There are so many moments of loss anew. I didn't think about you having to put away those tiny little socks and baby pants; I'm sorry to have caused you that unexpected pang of loss. So much more though, I'm sorry Isabella isn't here to wear them and make messes and create havoc and laughter in your home. We all miss her so very much. She is loved always, as are you and Arlen.
Susan said…
When I see you and Arlen taking care of Audra, playing with her, and loving her, it is an acute joy and an acute sorrow. Audra has such a loving and generous aunt and uncle. You both are clearly so wonderful with her and love her so much. Hence the joy. And it is so, so clear how much love you would have been able to pour into Isabella. The love remains, I know, but I ache for all of the pouring of it that you have to figuratively fold up and put into a drawer.

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