God Encounter with NICU Nurse

These days, my most repeated prayer requests are that God would use Isabella's life and death for his glory and that I would catch glimpses of him working. Yesterday, his answer to this prayer encouraged and humbled me.

As I was walking to our group’s room for Bible study last night, I saw a woman ahead of me wearing a NICU sweatshirt from the hospital Isabella was in. I was jolted by the image and did a double take, wondering if I just imagined the hospital name. No. I walked into the room, somewhat distracted.

After discussion, I walked into the sanctuary for lecture with a friend and told her about the sweatshirt. I looked around the large room and did not see the grey NICU clothing. I prayed, “Lord, if you want me to talk to her, have her sit directly in front of me. Otherwise, I won’t.”

A couple minutes later, the woman wearing the NICU sweater sat directly in front of me and was joined by a friend.

“Please turn and greet your neighbor.”

Deep breath.

“Are you a NICU nurse at ___ hospital?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. My daughter was – .“

“I was there. I was your daughter’s nurse. I prayed for her several times that morning.”

We both immediately started to cry and my friend encouraged us to hug. Meeting this nurse, understanding she was present for the hardest and most sacred part of our story, and seeing the love she has for my daughter, filled me with peace and gratitude. Gratitude that she shared her part of our story, gratitude that I could thank her in person, and gratitude for a renewed humility that God is more powerful than my fear.

NICU nurses in Montana following the death of a baby.

All through the lecture, I kept thinking about the fact that she was Isabella’s nurse and that God orchestrated this meeting. The woman looked vaguely familiar, but much of the day Isabella went to heaven is a blur.

After the lecture, the four of us spoke together – the nurse, her friend, my friend, and me. We talked about God. How big he is. How God is good, even when our hearts break. How little we understand life and death.

She mentioned that NICU deaths are always tough, but some stick with you more than others. When she was with Isabella, she felt God’s presence in the room. She also thought that Isabella would be called home that day and prayed for her throughout the morning.

When my husband and I were called downstairs while the staff was doing chest compressions, she was the one charting. When we told the staff to stop resuscitation efforts and we held our daughter for the first time, she watched Isabella take her final, gasping breaths in our arms. She was in the room with us when Christ took Isabella’s spirit home to heaven.

Later, she encouraged us to have the photos taken and walked us to the room when the photographer arrived. When we were asked if we wanted to bathe Isabella and said we could not, she and my father gave Isabella her first, and only, bath. My dad had cut some of Isabella’s hair that we received along with her handprints and footprints. The nurse and I laughed that my dad had cut Isabella’s hair front and center.

As the four of us sat there, her friend told us about how God was using Isabella’s life and death before she even knew it was us. Several hours before Isabella died, she had heard about Isabella through a co-worker we know from church and prayed for us. She later received a prayer request about our daughter and learned from her friend that she had had a horrible day at work (but did not hear anything beyond that). She put things together and quickly realized the tough work situation was directly related to our daughter. And she had prayed for us, not knowing it was us, throughout the day.

The NICU nurse told me she still thinks about us. Our daughter is not forgotten. The note and photos of Isabella we took by the hospital were encouraging to the staff. I truly cannot imagine the heartbreak that NICU nurses experience frequently. Unfortunately, there have been more losses at the hospital since June.

She also told us Isabella was beautiful. As her mom and since very few people saw our daughter in person, these were precious words to hear.

The nurse told us she rarely wears her NICU sweatshirt but needed to do laundry. Praise God for using even the timing of laundry for his glory and our comfort.