October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
In 1988, Ronald Reagan declared that October was to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. He said, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.”
One of my initial thoughts after reading the first part of the quote was, “This has to change! We need a name to describe parents who are parents, but their child/children have died.” Perhaps in another post I’ll explore the etymology of widow and orphan to see what new word could be created to describe this horrible state.
Until this year, I was vaguely aware that there was a month that was dedicated to miscarriages, but that was about the extent of my knowledge. Now that neonatal death/infant loss is part of my story, this month’s awareness has personal meaning.
Until this year, I was vaguely aware that there was a month that was dedicated to miscarriages, but that was about the extent of my knowledge. Now that neonatal death/infant loss is part of my story, this month’s awareness has personal meaning.
One of the slogans for the month is: “1 in 4 is not just a statistic. It’s me.” If I’m fully honest with myself, this is one of the lines I least identify with. Miscarriages are relatively common occurrences. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Miscarriage is the spontaneous loss of a pregnancy before the 20th week. About 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. But the actual number is likely higher because many miscarriages occur so early in pregnancy that a woman doesn't realize she's pregnant.” Another source cites miscarriages as occurring in approximately 25% of pregnancies. Thus, 1 in 4.
Neonatal death is death that occurs between 0-28 days after birth. Isabella’s death is considered a neonatal or infant death. This is much less common. In the United States, approximately 4 out of every 1,000 live births end in neonatal death. Other sources put it at 6 out of every 1,000 live births. That means the chances are closer to 1 in 250.
The United States has one of the highest rates of neonatal death in the developed world. Let that sink in.
Yet, I never knew that neonatal death could happen.
Of course birthing class instructors do not want to scare people preparing to welcome a child into the world. But, where else are expectant mothers going to learn this information? I wish someone had told me, "Over 99% of people who have babies in America bring home their children. However, there is a very small chance that something unexpected can happen. Given the statistics, the chances are extremely high that everyone here will bring home their baby."
Neonatal death is death that occurs between 0-28 days after birth. Isabella’s death is considered a neonatal or infant death. This is much less common. In the United States, approximately 4 out of every 1,000 live births end in neonatal death. Other sources put it at 6 out of every 1,000 live births. That means the chances are closer to 1 in 250.
The United States has one of the highest rates of neonatal death in the developed world. Let that sink in.
Yet, I never knew that neonatal death could happen.
Of course birthing class instructors do not want to scare people preparing to welcome a child into the world. But, where else are expectant mothers going to learn this information? I wish someone had told me, "Over 99% of people who have babies in America bring home their children. However, there is a very small chance that something unexpected can happen. Given the statistics, the chances are extremely high that everyone here will bring home their baby."
Would it have made her death easier? No. But I would have known it was an option. A 1 in 250 chance is pretty low. I would generally take those odds, until you become the 1 in 250.
Did you know that the rate of stillbirths in America is higher than the rate of neonatal death? Currently, the statistics are 1 in 160 pregnancies. A stillbirth is death in utero anytime after 20 weeks. Generally this occurs before labor. However, I have met two mothers whose babies, both firstborn girls, died during labor at 41 weeks.
How is this possible? How do more people not know?
This is now our story. While I wish I was holding my daughter instead of updating a post about neonatal death, this is my life. I am a mother whose child is no longer on earth. Part of parenting Isabella well is raising awareness about infant loss.
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