No First Day of Kindergarten and COVID Testing for Grief
Isabella would have started kindergarten Friday. I had not anticipated the pain around this milestone – it feels like the raw grief of the first year, a sorrow that’s acute and heavy. I work in an elementary school and am more aware of the district calendar than most people who do not have school age children. Thursday night while doing dishes and the typical nighttime chores, I ached inside with the lack of preparing anything for my daughter’s first day of school. I thought of the other five-year-olds that I’ve known since they were inside their mothers, being knit together the same time as Isabella, all of them are growing, thriving, and beginning a new stage. Friday, I did not take any first day of school photos or drop anyone off at school. Yet I found myself watching the clock, knowing kindergarteners all around the city were being dropped off and later, picked up. Saturday morning, I met up with several friends for breakfast, one of whom was pregnant with me and her son had just
